18 Month Well Expat Checkup

I've been wanting to do one last Well-Expat Checkup now that we've reached the 18 month mark.  I'm no longer a baby expat and now I'm just an American living in the UK.  But it's a post I've struggled with.  I don't really know what to say about it.  Now it's just my life.  Sure there are still challenges and regular surprises, but it's no longer all consuming. 

I went back and read through my other expat musings and checkups.  It made me smile and even shed a tear or two. 

Getting Ready!  
Honeymoon Phase
Comfort Zone
1 Month Well Expat Check Up
Lose the Attitude
2 Month Well Expat Check up
3 Month Well Expat Check up
Get Out your Mini Violins
A Hug for You 
6 Month Well Expat Check Up 
One Year Well Expat Check Up

I was told over and over that it would take about 18 months to feel settled and they were right.  I feel settled. 

I'm still dealing with challenges, but they are just everyday challenges.  Living a healthy lifestyle.  Finding self love and fulfillment.  Maintaining a vibrant and loving marriage  Connecting with family members.   Nurturing friendships.  Personal growth.  Keeping a sense of humor and passion for  life.  Those are universal challenges that we face no matter where we live. 

As I look back over the transition, these four things stand out for me.

Biggest Challenge

I knew the weather would probably be a challenge.  Everyone has an idea about rainy, gloomy London (which is not the norm).  That wasn't really an issue for me until the really tough spring recently.  And the very short days and the darkness of the winter affected me much more than I ever expected.  But, I have to say the biggest challenge was the loss of my voice.  My self-confidence took a huge hit when I moved here.  I've talked to some other expats who experienced the same thing.  I was suddenly very self-conscious about what I had to say and how I communicated.  It's not just about the accents, but about the context and characteristics of another culture.  There are some really subtle differences that are sometimes hard to pick up on .  I always felt a few beats off the music.  But, this is definitely getting better.  Building friendships and a social life has helped immensely. 

Worst Thing

Every expat will tell you that the worst thing is living so far away from those that you love.  It's so difficult.  I miss my parents, I miss my brother and his family.  I miss my friends.  I miss my daughter Jessica.  It's just an ache that really never goes away.  It's always there.  Always a little piece of me missing.  There is an unseen thread that connects her to me, attached to our cores.  Sometimes it's floating softly and comfortably in the distance between us.  Things are okay and we are connected.  Sometimes the thread snaps tightly and wakes me from a sound sleep.  She isn't here.  Is she okay.  What is she doing, thinking, feeling right now?  Sometimes I desperately want to grab the cord that connects us and pull quickly hand over hand to bring her to me.  She will be here in my mother's embrace in 35 days and it can't come soon enough  I miss my girl child.  (There will be a scene in arrivals at Heathrow.)

Biggest Lesson

I think the biggest lesson is that you are never too old to embrace a new chapter in life.  If you'd have told me even three years ago that I would be married to a Brit,  living in London and publishing a travel blog.  I would have laughed and said, "Whatever."  And yet here I am living a completely new and wonderful chapter in my life.  I've found a passion for travel and I'm lucky enough to share it with a wonderful man.  I've discovered photography and blogging which gives me so much joy.  In spite of the struggles, I feel like I'm living the life that I was meant to live.   I'm still thrilled to discover what the future holds.  And it's so true.  Life happens outside of your comfort zone. 

Best Thing

The best thing has to be the discovery.  I'm growing and learning so much everyday.  I've always said that my favorite thing to do is anything for the first time.  And moving out of my comfort zone means that I'm regularly having those experiences.  I love every second of it.  I love England and London.  Just being here gives me a charge.  It's beautiful!  And the connection to stories and history is fantastic.  The fact that travel is such an integral part of life has completely changed me and  I love being an expat. 

So this will be my last well-expat checkup.   I'm sure I will continue to learn and grow as life moves forward.  And I'm sure I will continue to be challenged and live outside of my comfort zone.  At least I hope so.  But it's time to end the Well Expat Checkups.  

I was helped so much along the way by those who had gone through this before me. Thank you so much.  And now I love getting emails and comments from people that are just setting out on this journey.  Any help that I can give to others I'm happy to give.  Even if it's just a cyber hug and a knowing nod to what you are going through.  Feel free to reach out and send me a note.  I'd love to hear from you.  

What was your biggest challenge? 

What's the best thing about being an expat?

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