I have a confession.
Sometimes when I write a blog post about our travels...
I leave out the bad stuff.
There, I said it. I know you're shocked.
"You mean it's not all gin & tonics and gorgeous scenery?"
I leave out the missed connections, the planning snafus, the crap restaurants,
the sucky weather, the drunk guy urinating in the tube station,
the crowds of people doing that annoying zombie/tourist shuffle
and people constantly invading my personal space.
(Stay out of my hula hoop, dude.)
But, this time I'm going to raise the veil of the travel blog and expose the reality.
Ever had a fight with your soulmate when you're stressed, traveling and sick?
Ever tried to have a decent argument in public?
How about in front of your parents?
Or maybe in the Roman-Greco section of the most famous museum in the world?
While in Paris last weekend, we made a visit to the Louvre.
And, I admit, I might have been slightly grumpy, just a little.
But I was sick, so I can't be totally to blame.
If you've spent any time with me, you know that when I'm grumpy
I throw my whole self into it.
Shoulders down, forehead furrowed, bottom lip projecting, feet shuffling, eyes rolling.
I give it my all. Let's just say my non-verbal communication skills are good.
So, we arrived Friday morning with ten billion other people to tour the Louvre.
We figured out getting tickets and vouchers for the audio-guides
and ventured over to the Denon Wing.
We interrupted the very important conversation of the two ladies at the audioguide desk.
They threw the Nintendo Consoles at us. Then sent us on our way with no instructions
and a glare to discourage any further questions on our part.
Now, you know I love my audioguides but this was an audioguide on steroids.
It had 3D, not one but two touchscreens and way too many buttons.
I like my audioguides like I like my men...
simple and bossy. (not really)
"Walk forward until you get to a wall, look up and gaze at the painting.
Ruminate on what the artist was trying to portray.
Now, go to the next painting on your right."
We hung the laptops audioguides around our necks,
put on our earphones and started pressing buttons.
TE, being an only child, shuffled off about 20 paces and turned his back on the rest of us.
Mom, Mr. B and I all continued pushing buttons
and yelling random questions at each other.
And before you ask. No, we didn't listen to the tutorial on how to use the damn things.
Who ever listens to the instructions on an audioguide?
"Put earplugs in ears. Push play. Go on your merry way."
When the lovely audioguide voice didn't give me any specific direction,
I led us all over to TE and demanded asked sweetly that he give us some direction.
And then he got all logical on me!
"It's a museum. You just walk around and look at paintings."
Well, that was no help at all!
And when pushing buttons on the audioguides didn't work,
we spent some time pushing each other buttons.
Mom & Mr. B decided they'd just wing it and give us some space.
I think she is pouting, too.
At one point, Mom wandered by and said
"I'm just listening to whatever.
It's interesting but I have no idea which painting they're talking about."
"How do you work this damn thing?"
By the time we got through the Egyptian section, TE and I had made up
and we had all figured out the basics of the audioguides.
But, we really couldn't get rid of them fast enough
and we quickly headed to a cafe for a drink.
So, there you have it. The truth of the matter.
What about you?
Where's the most interesting place you've had a fight with the love of your life?
xoxo
Selena
