My Dear Juan Letter

Dear Tex-Mex,

This is so hard for me.  I never dreamed I would have to write this letter.  But, I just can't do this anymore.  I thought that we could make this long-distance thing work.  But, it's just too hard.  It's not you.  Please don't blame yourself.  It's just how life is sometimes.  

I've tried.  Oh, how I've tried.  I even went on a quest of sorts to stay connected to you.  I've been to the places you told me about.  I've connected with your "friends" here in London.  Last weekend, I even found myself visiting your '"Crazy Homies."  But, it was no good.  Even the two pomegranate margaritas could not hide the fact that something was still missing.  Queso!  Queso was missing and my heart broke all over again.  

And please don't blame this on my new expat friends.  They love you and they have been nothing but supportive.  They understand what we are going through.  They have even reminded me that I can find El Paso brand products at Tesco. 

I have another confession, Tex-Mex.  Please don't be angry.  Try to understand.  I've been spending some time with another new friend.  He's from India, but has lived in London for years.  We just met and it's nothing serious at all.  It's just... that he's trying to help me get through this.  I told him how you used to share a basket (or 8) of tortilla chips with me before dinner.  And I told him how much I loved the queso and salsa that you always made just for me.  I cried when I told him.  

The next night before dinner, he served me something called poppadoms.  He even included mango chutney and mint yogurt sauce.  He then served me something called Tandoori because he knew I was missing your fajitas.  For just a second, I almost forgot..  But, he is no you, Tex-Mex.  He is no you.  It's nothing, I'm sure.  I probably shouldn't have even mentioned it.  

So, you see.  I have to do this.  I have to say good-bye.  I have to end this now before it becomes unbearable.  I hope that someday you can forgive me.   And, who knows, Tex-Mex.  Life is crazy.  Maybe someday... some day in the distant future, we will pass each other on the street in some Texas town.  If and when that happens, Tex-Mex, I hope that we can smile, spend some time together... share a laugh.  You'll never know what you've meant to me.  I will never forget you.  

Love always,

Selena